Last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me with emotional turmoil and some very difficult unanswered questions. All of this converted into 2 days of emotional imbalance and today I am a little better and trying to put things in perspective. Trying to see if I can get answers atleast now.
The very foremost question is – Are all of us so entangled in our lives that we do not get even 10 minutes to talk with people whom we call ‘friends’? Distances might be vast, time zones might be varied but with technology everything has become so plausible. And even then, we just go on with our lives without taking out even 10 minutes to talk with our so called friends. If our friends call us, we do not answer and we do not even call back or drop a message conveying the reason for not being able to talk. I do not believe in having friends where there is no communication. Communication is important, it is the heart and soul of any relationship. Without which, the relation has little value. Talk it out is my mantra. But yet, some people do not have time for me in friendships.
Expecting a 10 minutes talk from your dear friend hurts!
The second question – Is it so difficult for people to appreciate a good thing? Forget appreciating, people are jealous if you are doing good in life. They will try and bring you down. No one knows, what all a spouse on dependant visa goes through. Every day is a battle, waking up and thinking – what today? And yet, I keep myself sane with so many constructive activities. I could have wiled away my time watching stupid hindi soaps with girl friends. But no, I took a different path. I am not asking anyone to praise my perpetual struggle to do something meaningful in life. But atleast don’t smirk and say, “What is the use of all of this, you anyways are not getting paid for it.”
Expecting others to be sensitive hurts!
The third question – Is a small piece of information so expensive that you are unwilling to render it? I have experienced this time and again. No one wants to give any information because they think that this piece of information will help someone to progress in life. Minute information like a singing class whereabouts, an HR contact, a course detail or even for that matter a food recipe. Are we so narrow minded that we do not want to give a small piece of information due to our insecurities. I believe if a person is destined to know something, he/she will get that information from one channel or the other. Of course holding off information will delay the process, but never the less it will reach the destination.
Expecting others to provide information hurts!
I am not saying I am flawless or perfect. I am not saying I do not err. I am not saying I am not guilty of a few things mentioned above. But today I atleast acknowledge my mistakes, I know what are my flaws and I am working towards improving them. I have learnt my life lessons.
Amidst all the emotional chaos of unfulfilled expectations, deep inside I know this phase will pass too. It makes me realize the blessings in my life – the friends who are still with me, the strangers who helped and people who always motivate me.
The last question still haunts – Is it so difficult to be a good human being?