It has been 3 years to our marriage recently and that is when I realized how one person becomes so irreplaceable in your life that you cannot think about your life without that person!
I have known Sujoy since a decade now. But marriage has changed the dynamics of our relationship completely. Moreover it has made me a better person! 🙂 Rather I would say marriage has been my makeover therapy 😉
I still remember those dating days when I was learning Bengali to impress Thamma i.e. Sujoy’s grandmother. It was Durga Puja time (a festival very dear to all Bengalis) and my now MIL thought it was a good time to get introduced to Sujoy’s grandmother. So my MIL had taught me 4-5 lines in Bengali to speak with Thamma on the occasion of Bijoya (after Durga Puja, youngsters take blessings from elders). So I had revised, memorised my 5 bengali lines –
‘Kemon acho?’ (How are you?)
‘Ami Pradnya bolchi. Chinte perecho ki?’ (This is Pradnya on the line. Did you recognize me?)
‘Amar bijoyar pranaam nav aar ashirwad daav’ (Please accept my bijoya greetings and bless me)
‘Pujo kemon katlo?’ (How was your Durga puja?)
‘Aajke ki ranna korecho?’ (What did you cook today?)
‘Rakchi eakhun’ (I am hanging up now)
Phew! So these were the sentences taught to me. My talk with thamma went very well with prompting from my MIL. I was a super duper happy kid that day!
One month later I thought of calling thamma and speaking with her with my limited bengali. And in that conversation I inadvertently asked her again, ‘Pujo kemon katlo?’ And that was it. It was not Durga puja time then and this question made thamma laugh. From that day on, for a year atleast whenever I called any of Sujoy’s relatives they would ask me ‘Pujo kemon katlo?’ and we would have a hearty laugh! Sujoy still teases me and asks, ‘Pujo kemon katlo?’ 😛
It has been a long journey from that day to today where in I understand and speak bengali quite well.
I have lived a very serious and disciplined life before marriage. I always used to tell Sujoy, post marriage I will change all of you. I will make you guys get up early and have an early bath and have fresh start to your day! Little did I know the pleasures of waking up late, leisurely having breakfast and then taking a bath in the afternoon. The marriage made things work other way round – I started becoming more and more Datta than he becoming a Vernekar!
I have loosened up and have started taking life less seriously! The control freak within me is diminishing little by little. I am open to new things and do not freak out as before if something is not kept in its place. It took a lot of time for me to be here! With the restrictions gone away, life has become happier 🙂
Sujoy has given me all the freedom in life! When we were in Chennai and I was overly in love with my job, he took care of the kitchen and groceries. I traveled more than him for work. And he managed the house very well. Now in US also, he has always been very supportive in all activities I have wanted to do. He is the one who keeps on pushing me to keep myself busy. He is the one who will take me out every weekend to eat as he says I work very hard in the kitchen and I deserve rest over the weekend. And it is only because of him that I even ventured learning a four wheeler! The progress of which is another story though 😉
The best thing I like about our relationship is we respect each other and at the same time give space. He has his football, I have my reading and writing and we try to be a part of each others likings as much as possible. He has never treated me as a kitchen maid but always as an equal. We discuss all household issues together and hence the relationship is very mature! And why just household stuff, we even discuss grammar at home with me preaching him all the time 😛
It sometimes surprises me that how one person has such impact in your life. You share almost everything with that person! The happiness when you see that person beside you in bed when you wake up every morning is enigmatic! Two individuals who become soul mates, and complement each other so well! Life is indeed worthwhile then! 🙂
And as they say, ‘Together is a happy place to be.’ I know, I want to get old with this guy and hold his hand forever! 🙂